heal thyself: a diversity intensive for healers and life coaches

This is dedicated to Abraham and La Rue.

I don't know how many times I will offer this 6 week diversity course for white teachers and healers. I've started with two on the calendar for the next 12 months. And I don't know if I'll do it again after that. It is not a course that I offer because I expect it will bring me pleasure. I offer it because I'm compelled to do it. 

Every conversation I have with a white person compels me to do it. Every observation of my white colleagues in the fields of counseling, coaching, spiritual teaching, healing, and any other field in which they serve others, compels me to do it. Every conversation with a marginalized person about their experiences of marginalization, dismissal, disenfranchisement, and abuse compels me. 

It has taken me 5 years to fully give into it, to create and set the intentions for it, to surrender to its substance unfolding inside of me. I have endured some pretty intense interactions with people in the process of discovering what I'm invited to offer. For me it's an expression of one of the life lessons my black father taught me, which is that when you see something that's clearly off, that's clearly in need of adjustment, and you know that it is within your power to contribute to the adjustment, you do it. You don't contemplate whether you feel like doing it. You do it. You don't contemplate whether or not it's your responsibility to do it. You simply get in there and offer the situation whatever you have to contribute.

Creating this course feels preposterous in some ways. My ego wants to be a pessimist, and taunts me with how optimistic I'll have to be to go through with it. But my heart is reminded of my parents. I'm reminded of how my black mother was always taking care of somebody else's kids. Not because it was her responsibility to take up the slack of parents who were struggling with emotional illness, physical disability, or mental health issues. Not because it would bring her financial gain. Not because she was bored and had too much time on her hands. She took care of other people's kids because they needed taking care of. It's just what she did. And she did it even if it meant some inconvenience, discomfort, or disruption of her own household. She did what was needed. 

I'm reminded of my father, who, even to this day, drives around the community he lives in, waving at people like a politician, harassing teens to stop messing around when he sees them in the middle of the day when they should be in school, helping out strangers, giving people the coat off his own back, and even though it's annoying as all get up, constantly lecturing people about living better, being better, doing better for themselves and each other. 

My parents were never rich or famous, and they may never receive widespread acclaim or material rewards for most of the good they've done it the world. But they definitely bettered their quality of life by simply accepting themselves as being one with the world around them. They saw themselves as part of the solution to any problem put before them. And this is how I was raised. They taught us so many survival skills that my sister and I would do well for ourselves in the event of a collapsed society, because my parents brought us up to be active creators in the world around us. I'm reminded of how these human beings that raised me served and continue to serve others to this day, even though the world has not been very respectful and kind to them. 

And, contrary to what those that rule our society would like me to believe, I am reminded of the many white friends I have made over the last few years who were impacted by what I had to say, who expressed a deep desire to live more whole and holy righteous lives, who demonstrated the courageous possibility of change. Who surrendered their defenses and became BETTER human beings right before my eyes.  
(I bet you assume based on my posting habits, that I am angry, bitter, and pessimistic. This would be incorrect. I'm human and feel those things at times, but this is not who I am. I am a creator.)

And I am reminded of the horrendous crimes committed against people I love, with brown skin, or disenfranchised bodies, or blinded eyes, or deaf ears, or other so-called "differences," and how those crimes were committed against them, based on differences that were only different from the very specific perspective of a centered view of whiteness being supreme. I am reminded of my cousin Michael who was tortured and murdered by way of denial of medical attention when unjustly held in custody for basically losing his job and getting behind on child support payments. I am reminded of my cousin who married a famous white man and was ridiculed in the press with cartoons depicting their black and white striped baby. I am reminded of my son's tears after watching the film Fruitvale Station. 

So this course... this is me, looking at a mechanism that we call society, seeing the disintegration of the parts, and recognizing that I have something to offer to the possibility of re-integration, re-membering, re-collecting, and re-conciling this mechanism, this collective relationship. I'm clear that what I have to offer is more than just cliches and platitudes. I can offer thought technologies, ancient principles, spiritual concepts, and practices that create sustainable change. I can also offer the abundance of the treasure that is my intimacy, my vulnerability, my willingness to be transparent, human, and a demonstration of wholeness and integrity. And so, as I was raised to do, I honor my parents. I honor the healer and spiritual teaching community. I honor my people of color. And I honor my white/European brothers and sisters. I honor Humanity as a whole with the most valuable thing I have. Me. 

And I am clear now. Clearer than I've ever been. We are all creators...whether we create consciously or unconsciously is up to us. We are all bound to the laws of Nature, and subject to the process of evolution...whether we choose to evolve voluntarily or involuntarily. I know this to be true. We can create a better world. We can. Despite all appearances of chaos and destruction, we can. Despite the perception of impossibility, we can. Despite our fear and struggle to be vulnerable and open. Despite our conditioning to perceive limitations. And the work to get there doesn't have to be so complicated if we focus on developing ways of thinking that impact better ways of perceiving, so that we might consider better ways of showing up, and have our presence be a better source for a more peaceful world, where we've got a better handle on that thing called unconditional love.  
Better. This is the intention.  
Come take this course and be the kind of people my parents are, creators of the way.  
I dedicate this intensive to Abraham and La Rue ... and to YOU.